Friday, February 16, 2007

Downtime

I've been on half term break since last week and I've been chillin out mightily. I've gone in to school and gotten some work done during the break but not nearly as much as I should have. I'll live to regret this but at least I've done something.

As I sit here I'm eating what must be my 15th pizza of the week (store bought though) and drinking a fine fine pint of Young's bitter. The Red Hot Chili Peppers are blasting in the background and I'm trying to forget that I only have 2 days left in my break.

I went through another term...that's 2 down for the year. It was harder in some ways and easier in others. It was tougher in some ways because I began to expect more of myself but I'm still a rookie so I keep falling short of where I want to be. I also started liking a lot of the kids which made it more difficult to deal with them in some ways. It's harder to be really hard on kids if you like them. You'd think it would be harder for them to be mean to you if some of them like you too but I'm not sure that's so much the case. It must be for some kids. I guess they're the ones I'm not having the toughest time with.

On another note I got cast in a play of sorts at East 15! There's a director there who's doing a play called "The Investigation" by Peter Weiss. It's verbatim scripts from trials after WWII. It's not the Nuremberg trials - it's some other trial that's similar. It's 4 hours long so they're going to do readings every week for the next few weeks. I've been cast as the judge for the first section. Should be fun. I think they're aiming to do a full stage production but I'm not a hundred percent sure how that'll work since they have different people reading in all these different readings. Anyway it'll be fun to dust off the acting tool kit again.

Tonight I'm going to see a play my room mate is in about these women who camped in a park somewhere in England next to this nuclear silo for like, 30 years, to protest nuclear warfare. Should be good. The play has taken that situation and blended it with Antigone (ancient Greek play where the women go on a sex strike to stop a war). They've been doing tons of research for it including camping in the actual park itself.

Babagenouche is doing well. She's got this audition for the BBC coming up which is great but also a lot of work and stress. She'll so great though I'm sure!

That's it for now.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Snow Day

News from BBC.com

Thousands of schools are shut and motorists are being urged to travel only if necessary. Some households are also without power.

Up to 10cm (4in) of snow fell in some areas.

4 inches! Bwahahahaha!

Well today was another good one. Likely because I didn't actually end up having to teach. The entire city ground to a halt as 4 inches of snow fell on the city. Apparently it doesn't actually snow in London most years. This was a legitimate snow fall and it created all kinds of problems.

It took me 2 hours and 15 minutes to take the usual 45 minute train ride to work. Apparently the snow was interfering with the current. I'm not surprised because trains here are constantly sending out huge sparks as they travel along. Then again...shouldn't they be built a little safer?

I got off at one station and crossed over to the other side of the platform there was a constant blue arc shooting out of one wheel. It looked like a welders torch. It quickly began to burn through the metal of the track. Then flames started appearing as well as smoke. There was a worker with a walkie talkie saying things like "Move the train off the platform before it welds itself to the rail!" Apparently it couldn't move... or wouldn't. Eventually the arc stopped. I think it burnt a whole in the rail.

Once I got to work it became apparent this would be a relaxing day. There were only 8 kids in at first so we made up a short schedule.

<--- not my kids but you get the picture.

Then break time hit and the snowball war started. It was awesome! here we had about 14 kids who have major social and emotional problems having a huge snowball fight for about 40 minutes. I was out there on my own for about 10 minutes and had a great time chucking snow around. The kids got to whip snowballs at the teacher and, more importantly, I got to throw snowballs at them.

The only point I got really nervous was when this one year 11 student who is REALLY muscular came after me. He kept coming for me and trying to push snow in my face and eventually we ended up grappling. I thought I might be dead. Eventually he took me down - hard. So I got up again and took him down - hard. Really glad I managed to. I think I earned some respect. :) Amazing experience because none of this would be tolerated at a "mainstream" school.

Then we went inside and had hot chocolate.

It was a fun day.

One day left and I'm off for a week.

Thank God.


Tuesday, February 06, 2007

1 Near Perfect Day

Hot Damn it's been a long time since I posted!

Apologies to any who have been checking in regularly - I've probably lost every reader out there. Post a reply if you're still reading!

I don't know what happened today with my kids but I went through my toughest day in terms of scheduling with almost nary an incident to report.

Tuesdays are usually brutal. I have 4 straight classes in the morning and then an hour and a half straight of Drama. That would normally be ok but I'm usually exhausted and Drama is damn near impossible with these kids. They really don't want to do it it seems. I think we could do a much better job though. We need to start with just playing games...anyway! Enough about that.

Four straight classes of engaged students. Unbelievable. I had points where I was standing there watching them work - completely unsure of what to do with myself. Usually I'm arguing with them. Or they're arguing with me. Is this what teaching in a normal school is like? I actually have energy left over. Usually I'm so tired I can't stand up by the end of the day. It's also amazing how my disorganization and inability to get any tasks done outside of lessons faded away. It's stress I tell you! I've been so overwhelmed I can't think straight.

So here's to one good day!

I'm sure it'll be WWIII tomorrow. :)

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Culture Vulture

In between waiting for my cakes to cool and my chestnuts to roast (see previous food porn post), I have taken in some pretty incredible art this holiday season.

Last week I saw the Holbein exhibit at the Tate Britain. Braving the long hike out to Pimlico, and the even longer queue for tickets with a bunch of snow-haired, well-dressed, personal-space-ignoring old folks, I managed to score a ticket to see the portraits of this most remarkable artist.

In case you're not a rabid slobbering fan of sixteenth century England (but how could you not be? religious upheavals and persecution! sumptuous silks and brocades! live birds baked into pastry! and plague, plague, PLAGUE!), the crash course on Holbein is this: famous portrait painter, became attached to the court of Henry VIII, and is responsible for that great tyrant's most famous portrait. You know the one: legs open, hands on his hips, codpiece prominent and thrust forward, mean little eyes in a pudding face. He also painted several of Henry's wives (heads still on, naturally), as well as other prominent courtiers and officials of the day.

Yawn, you're all thinking. But the remarkable thing about Holbein is that makes all these people so alive - he's particularly good at eyes and mouths. It's a sense you don't truly get until you see these paintings up close and personal. For example, I've seen Jane Seymour's royal portrait before - with its tightly pursued mouth and bland expression, like milk jelly, I didn't think much of her. But when I got up close, her eyes are actually incredibly gentle and thoughtful, especially in the early sketches, where they are surprisingly beautiful.

And this little painting was one of my favourites....isn't he a little sausage? That's Henry's little son by Jane Seymour, the great hope for England. Sadly the little cutie died in his teens, paving the way for his half-sisters Mary and Elizabeth. Little precious.

One of my other favourites: Christina of Denmark, a prospective bride for Henry, sixteen years old, all in black because she's already been once widowed. Her face, robbed of its hair, framed by a weird black hat, is beautiful, cautious, a little nervous, with an incredibly direct and straitforward gaze, but quirks of humour and kindness in her mouth. You feel you know exactly who this girl is, looking out into her future with confidence it will be extraordinary.

I can't reproduce these images here with any justice, but google Holbein and download some for yourself. They're glorious.

I also visited the Dennis Severs' house this week (damn you, Christmas essay!) near Spitalfields market. I'd stumbled across the website and was intrigued by the description of the house:
"a time capsule...the artist lived in the house in much the same way as its original occupants might have done in the early 18th century...to enter its door is to pass through a frame into a painting: one with a time and a life of its own." Giddyup!

So I went along, rang the old-fashioned bell, and after being briefed on the ground-rules (no talking, no touching, no photography), I was turned loose on the house to begin my "experience."

The website describes "the game" as being "you interrupt a family of Hugenot silk weavers called Jervis who though they can still sometimes be heard seem always to be just out of sight. As you journey off in silent search throughout the ten rooms, each lit by fire or candlelight, you receive a number of stimulations to your senses..."

Well, it was probably one of the most captivating and evocative things I've ever encountered. Each room over the four floors is exactly as it would have been in the 1700's - crammed, cluttered, dark corners to be explored, tiny clues as to the family who live here. It felt a bit like an afternoon on the Marie Celeste: you saw overturned chairs, baking griddle cakes abandoned, half drunk glasses of sherry, crumpets still stuck on toasting forks, broken teacups, still-smoking pipes! Wigs, silk dresses, and frock coats were slung over the backs of chairs - tiny baby shoes lay dropped under a high-chair in the kitchen, with a half-eaten gingerbread man in a bowl, and the sink high with dirty plates.

The smells were intriguing: a heady honey scent in a woman's bedroom, something lemony, fresh, and verbena-like in her daughter's room, tobacco and old smoke around an interrupted card game and whisky bottles. And always, very faintly, sounds: a man's voice, a tolling bell, a creak on the floor above you, a carriage going by - always tantalizingly out of reach.

It was very poignant, and haunting. "Still life drama", as the artist described it. How different the world looks though candle and fire light. The darkness is somehow colder, an enemy. But when there is light and warmth, how appealing and sensual things are: a mountain of sugared fruits, a half-eaten loaf of bread, a pile of books, cosmetics on a dressing table. Tiny curls of paper, lists of calls the ladies have made, little notes from family members to each other, even clues from the artist to the sharp-eyed, such as this gem "The late 20th century is an intriguing place to visit...but who would want to live there?"

I loved it - the whole thing was magical. I staggered into the street stunned and battered by the sudden assault of the modern world, and trudged back into this careless and rushed place we call the 21st century.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The Dreaded Lurgy


I managed to get through the Christmas holidays without getting any serious sickness. This seemed quite miraculous at the time as most of London was felled by one flu or another.

Unfortunately that all came to an end yesterday morning.

I awoke feeling fine but by the time I was halfway through brushing my teeth I realized there was an ever tightening knot in my stomach and that my head was beginning to pound. I realized that I was quite likely to throw up at any moment.

Throwing up, hurling, visiting the porcelain telephone and speaking to Ralph... all these things are about the worst thing I can imagine. I hate being sick more than anything else. I fight it to the bitter end.

Which is exactly what I did.

I spent the next hour and a half arranging my lesson plans so I could email them in. Luckily I got sick on the day that is, without a doubt, the most organized day I've ever had as a teacher. I had EVERYTHING set up for the day. I was actually looking forward to going to work so I could enjoy the fruits of my labour. Someone else did, but at least it made me look good.

I woke up this morning and still had a pounding headache and a high fever so, alas, here I am at home again.

I'm feeling better though so I'll probably be at work tomorrow.

There ya go. Not the most interesting post but a post nonetheless.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Leafs 10 - Bruins 2

Alex Steen: 3 Goals 2 assists = 5 points
Matt Stajan: 2 Goals 2 Assits = 4 points
Boyd Devereux: 3 Assists
Bates Battaglia: 2 goals

Highlights can be found at: http://www.nhl.com/nhl/app?service=page&page=Video


G A +/- SH PIM TOI
SUNDIN 0 1 2 3 0 16:17
MCCABE 0 0 5 2 0 21:39
GILL 0 1 2 1 0 19:36
O'NEILL 0 1 1 4 0 14:53
BELAK 0 0 0 0 12 1:44
BATTAGLIA 2 0 3 4 0 23:08
KILGER 1 0 1 2 0 17:25
DEVEREAUX 0 3 3 0 2 18:02
KABERLE 0 2 1 0 0 21:55
KUBINA 0 1 0 0 2 18:26
POHL 1 2 2 5 0 16:55
ONDRUS 0 0 0 1 0 4:34
COLAIACOVO 0 0 1 1 0 12:22
BELL 0 0 1 0 5 5:58
STAJAN 2 2 4 4 0 19:12
NEWBURY 1 1 3 5 6 13:16
STEEN 3 2 4 6 4 17:04
WHITE 0 2 6 1 2 19:59

Musings on the Importance and Random Occurance of Support.

I'm really amazed at what some kind words can do --> even if they're from unexpected sources. Maybe especially when they're from unexpected sources.

I just started back for the New Year. I've been feeling lower than I've felt in a long time. I'm terrified of all the planning, marking, assessment, collection of student work, databases of student marks and long term planning that are just lacking from my teaching life. I'm struggling to get 4 lessons planned for tomorrow and just can't get the big picture in place. Plus I'm massively disorgainzed.

Babagenouche has been amazing to me the last few days including a wonderful dinner tonight. Then I read a comment by a Sledgehammer (who I've never met) on my New Year's posting and I feel much better. Thanks Sledge! And thanks Julie. And thanks everybody who's written and said nice things to me!

Edukator

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Here beginneth the food porn

While my beloved Edukator has been delving deep into his soul these past few days, taking a good hard look at himself, and generally preparing for the new year in an awe-inspiring spirit of quiet maturity and sober reflection...

I've been baking things. And searching out shops that bake things. And reading about other people baking things. Hmmm. Two different sets of priorities are beginning to emerge here. To illustrate my point: on our recent New year's junket to Tours (all hail cheapie Euro-flights!), a ridiculously lovely medeival village in south-west France,

this was the kind of thing Edukator
wanted to take photos of:

...and this is what I
wanted to take photos of:








Good thing Edukator likes eating baked things, or we'd have absolutely nothing in common :)

Now in case all this food-porn sounds decidedly frivolous and decadent, here are some of the culinary challenges I've taken on and tackled this festive season (lest anyone suspects I've actually been enjoying my time off):

1) I roasted my own chestnuts. Given the sort of rampant foodie I've become, it was bound to happen one of these days.
2) I invented a graham-cracker substitute, in order to form the crust of my mother-in-law's world-famous Xmas "fiesta bars". I got a package of ginger snaps (the closest biscuit I could find to ye olde grahams taste-wise), wrapped them in two layers of plastic bags, and reduced them to crumbs by beating them with an empty wine-bottle. Which took a VERY long time. But my bicepts look incredible as a result.
3) since it's impossible to buy chocolate chips in anything larger than a 25g package, I hand-chopped two large 500g slabs...again for the fiesta bars. Advancing my carpal tunnel symptoms along nicely.
4) I baked gingerbread, poked holes in them, and strung them around the flat as cheap, festive decorations. Thank you, Nigella, Domestic Goddess indeed.
5) I don't have any of the right culinary equipment to bake. Which led to great creativity: the empty wine-bottle was my rolling pin, I tempered chocolate in the microwave, I used wine glasses as my cookie cutters. Liquids were measured using cleaned-out honey and jam pots. And all creaming and mixing was done by hand, which works up a sweat! No wonder people were thinner back in the day!

All of this, really, because I have tons of Christmas term homework I ought to be doing. Avoidance is a wonderful spur to my culinary creativity. There's nothing like a looming essay on the theatre of the oppressed to give me the urge to make marshmallows from scratch or bottle my own quince jam :)

Monday, January 01, 2007

January 1 2007

Well this is it. A New Year. Usually I look forward to the New Year with great anticipation. I am looking forward to a big year but I'm also very stressed because I have to back and teach again. Oh no!

The upcoming year will certainly have some big events in it. The winds of change that started to blow when I decided to go back to get my Bachelor's of Education in 2005 will to howl and blow. Babagenouche and I did a recap of our accomplishments this year and I can't figure out why I think my life is boring all the time.

Here are my accomplishments in no particular order except mostly chronological.
- Completed second teacher placement.
- Completed mountain of work - much of it inane - for Teacher Training.
- Completed Bachelor of Education
- Met wonderful friends at Teacher's College (you know who you are!)
- Taught Drama to Mentally Challenged Adults
- Packed up apartment, life, moved to Britain
- Survived some of the toughest emotional times in my life:
The denial of my Visa, Getting Stuck in Canada, Getting a job in Canada in the meantime,Getting to the Airport to find I'd missed my plane, Finally getting to Britain, Adjusting to Britain, Teaching for the first time, Teaching in a different system/culture/difficult students. (There I said it. Difficult! Not challenging. Difficult. Let's be honest they're difficult to handle. )
- Began to learn a new language: British.
- Found a school with one of the best staffs one could imagine.
- Started to get more organized.
- Worked harder than I've ever worked to try and get things going in my first term of teaching.
- Set up new life in Britain.
- Started this blog!


Babagenouche was going to contribute but she's fallen asleep on the couch so I'll have to toot her horn for here a bit.

- Had the courage to cross an ocean and audition for Masters Acting programs in order to follow her dream.
- Was Accepted from hundreds of applicants for a very specialized and select program.
- Packed up life and moved to Britain to continue her dream
- Worked intensely and with great commitment through very difficult program.
- Promoted from 12/hr job to $40,000 per year job in one year. Quit. :)
- Organized, planned, and initiated most things needed to get life moved to Britain. Dragged husband moaning and wailing the whole way.
- Received excellent praise and feedback at end of first term.
- Found apartment and room mate when all looked lost.
- Survived the Visa denial fiasco.
- Endless source of love and support.
- Inspiration

Resolutions:

Endeavour to Persevere
Stay Positive
Believe in Possibility
Get in better shape.

And now I leave you with some thoughts and images I hope will carry you and me through the New Year.

"Perseverance and Honesty are more important that Brilliance"



PATIENCE



PRACTICE



PERSEVERANCE
























Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Boxing Day

Well I'm sitting in Chiselhurst at Babagenouche's Aunt and Uncle's house on Boxing Day morning with fine memories of Turkey, Christmas Pudding, Wine, Conversation, and hysterical TV show called "The Vicar of Dibley" dancing through my head.

It's been a bit strange being away from the family in Canada. I miss everyone there. So if you're reading this blog put a comment on it! It's the only way I know any one's actually reading it and it's nice to hear your voice...or read your text as the case may be.

Christmas day was wonderful. We got things rolling around noon with some champagne and orange juice. The we commenced to open gifts. I got some lovely stuff from Genevieve including a shirt of Darth Vader trimming a hedge in the shape of the Death Star. I'll take a picture and upload it. We had Christmas dinner in the afternoon which is traditional here. It's a good plan actually. Aids the digestion mightily. You get to burn off the meal and then have a light dinner later.

I've discovered the most dense substance in the universe: Christmas Pudding. You think to yourself "Jeez that's a small portion" as you gaze upon the small cake on your plate. After two bites, however, you're crippled. You can barely lift your spoon it's so heavy. It's like a delicious brick of boozy lead on you plate. Four spoonfuls and you start to go into a coma. Five and the weight of it tears a hole in your stomach and you die with a smile on your face. I survived six spoonfuls (or is that spoons full?) I'm proud to say. I've still got burn marks on my chest from the defibrillator but it was worth it.

We'll be heading out of here today and I'll post some pictures I took.

Merry Christmas to all!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Christmas Break, A Coma, and A Man Pisses on A Pop Machine in the Underground

Christmas break is upon me! Thank God! I crossed the finish line and collapsed into a mega coma last night. I fell asleep at about 8:00 and slept until 10:45 this morning. You think pimpin ain't easy? Try teachin!

I feel refreshed for the first time in 2 months.

As for the third line of my heading...

London is a different place than Toronto. It's also much different than Seoul. People do things in public that I just wouldn't expect in either of those two places. Granted - in Seoul people would wander out of bars and piss on walls in full view of everyone but at least they were kind enough to use a wall. Plus they were always dressed in business suits which added an air of respectability to the act.

Babagenouche and I went to a place called Spitalfields market today to do some shopping and were about to purchase a beverage with which to quench our thirst from a pop machine in the London Underground when a scruffy looking bum strode up and stood beside the machine and the wall in what I can only describe as the "Urination Position." Most men are familiar with this as it's the stance assumed at a urinal - though rarely at a pop machine. We backed off and within a minute or so (apparently some stage fright had slowed the process down) we heard a mighty splashing. I couldn't believe it. The guy was obviously hammered out of his mind, most likely homeless, and hopefully insane but I still couldn't believe it. I wish I'd had the guts to take a picture. I don't think he would have minded.

Having said that Babagenouche and I had a good day. Spitalfields market is a cool place. Usually it's rammed with people but since we went on a Wednesday during the day it was much less crowded. There's an area that's full of stall that are loaded with all the accouterments of alternative street stall life. Clothes ranging from hippie rags to stylish funk, knick-knacks of all sorts, beaded jewellery, art, drug paraphernalia, food stalls, and all the fair trade and organic food/clothing/furniture/jewellery you can eat. There are all kinds of great shops around that often fall into that high end specialty category. There's cool wine bar we have to go back to...a place to buy bean bag furniture...just a cool all around place.

We had a brunch meal in a place called Giraffe which is a "Global Eatery." Really good food and atmosphere. I have a picture of us in it but I don't know how much of the restaurant you'll see.

Anyway, back to school.

I had a pretty relaxed time over the last few teaching days. No planning. I just did some fun stuff like watching some movies. The students were pretty good overall. I was warned that things can get really crazy because the kids actually hate x-mas vacation as they often don't like the time they spend in their home lives. The kids were pretty good though. I think a lot of it has to do with the stellar management that the school is doing. There was a prize draw for a bike or a PSP (portable play station), gifts for students, and certificates of merit - all given out at then end of the last day. Oh and there was a Christmas meal at a pub on the second last day that went extremely well. The kids can be great when they're relaxed and having fun. I think this really tied some kids in and kept them going to the end.

Anyway I should have lots of support for the upcoming term from a science program at a nearby school and from a consultant. I'm really paranoid about my evaluation and record keeping so that's what I've got to improve for the upcoming term.

Hopefully I find the will to do some planning over the break.

Monday, December 11, 2006

A Moon for the Misbegotten


Wow. Babagenouche and I went down to The Old Vic Theatre in Waterloo on Saturday and took in a little play by Eugene O'Neill called A Moon for the Misbegotten staring Kevin Spacey and Colm Meany. Damn it was great! I took a couple of snaps of the theatre which I will upload to Flickr shortly.

For those of you who don't know Colm Meany he's this guy:

That's right. Star Trek the Next Generation's chief engineer. Chief O'Brien himself. He's done a lot of other great work actually including The Commitments, Layercake and some other stuff. Anyway he actually stole the show in my opinion. He was AMAZING.

The performances all around were fantastic but Eve Best was a force in her role as well. My room mate (who saw the play earlier in the month) though she was the best. There wasn't much to choose from between the three actors. All were great but when Kevin Spacey is not the brightest star on stage you know you're seeing something special. No knock on Spacey whatsoever. He was great he was just in great company.

What a play this is. It's a play of huge unending dialogue which could get boring if not for the skill of these actors. The characters are constantly lying and saying the opposite of what they mean which injects a lot of humour into a really heavy play.

But enough raving about the play.

After the play Babagenouche and I then went down to the Tate Museum of Modern Art and poked around there for awhile. Neither of us get modern art much. Best I can say is that everyone in awhile you think: "That's pretty cool".

Then we walked down the Thames, past The Globe Theatre (the reconstruction of Shakespeare's old haunt) and around Southbank. Southbank might just be one of the greatest arts areas in the world. It's chock full 'o' art. We ended up at The Chocolate Factory Theatre Cafe where we had a drink and a cheese plate. Fine times indeed.

Things seem to be coming together a bit better at school. I felt relaxed again today, although I didn't teach. I'm getting used to the power struggles with students. I've figured out that you have to win them all...just not right away. You have to log stuff and come back at students with a consequence later a lot of the time.

We have a production we're mounting next week and it's been a real struggle. It's an updated version of A Christmas Carol but students here are very challenging to work with in a Drama situation. They like to sabotage things, or just take advantage of being able to move around and get at each other. Trust is low between the students but I think we've actually got a show!

Well I have to go prepare. It's almost 10 pm so maybe I'll get to bed before midnight!



Friday, December 08, 2006

Four Good Days


Well for those of you concerned about the tone of my last oh...10 posts I'd like to state that I just had my first run of consecutive good days since I got here. Four days without feeling like either bursting into tears, kicking a hole in something, hiding in fear, or jumping off a bridge!

Monday I went into school and told them I'm wasn't sure if I wanted to sign on just yet. I had a long conversation the next day with the principal and he was really incredible. The guy is quite inspiration I have to admit. Anyway, the gist of our conversations has been that he thought I was doing a really good job and that I was an asset to the school. He thought my drama skills were needed and basically that, because I cared about the students, I was the right person for the job. I also had some conversations with the head of the school and the director of the school who all were very supportive. Heck I even went and saw the school pyschologist and had a conversation with her (reluctantly) and all in all it seems to have gotten me through.

I've had absolutely fantastic advice from the principal about classroom management and I've learned more in the last week on that level than I did in a year of teacher's college and 18 months of teaching before that. Things like laying out books on tables where students are supposed to sit, having materials organized and ready, writing the lessons objectives on the board, creating worksheets to focus on... kicking kids who are misbehaving immediately out to get the class under control and having work ready for those who have been kicked out ready are HUGE things I've learned. Much of this sounds elementry but its key to teaching these kids (and probably millions of others as well).

Much of what I'm doing here flies in the face of what I was taught to do in teacher's college at York. Teacher's college was all about co-operative learning and integrating all learning styles into a lesson. If something wasn't a group based project that integreated dance/drama/music/art and social justice it was a failure. Unfortunately that stuff doesn't work here. Having kids read a passage and fill in some missing words here focuses them, makes them feel like they've accomplished something, and gives you a jumping off point for a review game where the material is discussed. Not exciting but it works. All the crap I learned in teacher's college and was forced to do is useless to real world early teachers. I actually think a lot of what we were taught is interesting but as a first year teacher in this situation its somewhat useless. Lessons on how to assess would have been nice....bah...my axe grindeth over.

Anyhoo...I'm feeling more confident largely due to the amount of support the school is giving me. They're giving me training as well.

As for England I'm beginning to manage that as well. I don't feel as confused, disoriented, fearful, and anxious as I did. I've started to realize that the English folk are loud and more agressive than I'm used to but that's not much to be alarmed about. A lot of what I hear is bluster.

Maybe I'll actually enjoy it here soon!

Thanks to everyone who's thrown support my way. You know who you are. Couldn't have made it without all of you.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Goodbye to a friend

One of my favourite blogs has disappeared!

I went to check in on postmoderncourtesan and an error message popped up. After much googling, and the imput of other bloggers, I can only conclude that there has been some scandal or other and the witty, well-written, poignant Olympia Manet has had to pack it all in.
It is a bit like losing a friend.
Goodbye Olympia - I read your blog almost from the beginning, and never felt brave enough to leave a comment. Thanks for sharing your fascinating, always provocative tales. Good luck and godspeed!

On an up note - I've just found another new fun blog: belleinthebigapple.blogspot.com. Another excellent writer with a unique style, seeking her fortune in New York and musing about delicious food while doing so. Bliss. As one door closes, another one opens...

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

No, really, I DO exist

Just to quell all of those internet rumors that my dear husband has chopped me up and hidden me under the floor-boards...here I am, alive and kicking (and posting!)

It's been a rough old couple of weeks. We have hit major assessment time at school, which means our class is constantly being scuntinized by our tutors for any signs (however vague or remote) that we have absorbed something (anything!) of what we've been taught this term. The biggest hurdle has proven to be the swirling whirlwind vibe of panic and resisting getting sucked down into it full force.

I guess I have an advantage over some of my class in that I've been through similar periods of stress and assessment at my last drama school, and so this process is vaguely familiar. Hopefully I'm able to learn from my experience and keep it all in perspective as well i.e. I'm no longer say to myself, "Oh god, if I don't absolutely nail this vocal warm-up where I lie on the floor and go, "huh HUH", they're going to chuck me out of the school!"

It's a funny old thing, though, to see what stress does to people and how they react under pressure. There was definitely some cracking on the part of my classmates. Tears, rage, and general bitchiness were in the air. I am a bit sad that my new group doesn't seem to be as supportive and generous towards each other as were my colleagues of drama schools past. Sometimes I do wonder where my kindred spirits are among them. Sometimes I feel really advanced and deeply wise and talented in comparison - and sometimes I feel like I know nothing and that they're all miles ahead of me. It's what is known as "actor's teetor-totter syndrome".... or it is now that I've coined the phrase, anyways.

We get the results of all these assessments in ye grande olde "feed-back" session this Friday, where we are sent in, naughty school-child like, to shuffle in our chairs before a panel of teacher people. I'll let you know kids....

In other news, lots of great film and theatre abound! And I have no time to see any of it! Must make effort this week and over Xmas holidays to get more cultured. Who has time to be cultured when you're training to make culture??

Also, Edukator and I have taken to jogging together nightly - mostly so I can defend his honour against any roving marauding Essex "youf" we may chance upon. We've become "the couple who jogs together." I know - let me be the first to offer you a barf bag.

And finally (because I love a good list!), I leave you with some details of things I do (when I'm not balancing on one arm in a dance studio reciting Blake poems, that is):

a) laundry. Endless laundry. This is because our washing machine is the size of a small basket ball - one pair of the Husband's jeans fills it to capacity. And it's in the kitchen. Hello, Britain!

b) walking. Lots of walking. We are a bit spoilt for walks, as there are some lovely bits of green fields and countryside out in the sticks. There's a really lovely hill right near our house with rather poignant 3 oak trees atop it - it's quite nice to hike up and watch the sunrise across the land.

c) shopping. Our fridge is the size of a cat-carrier. Shopping is a daily ritual. The Husband hates this, but I quite enjoy it. I pretend I'm a French woman, off to market with my panier. Our local Sainsbury's somewhat shatters this illusion: it's low-ceiling, dark, and dingy, like some ex-communist horror, complete with mysterious shortages of fairly staple foods on a regular basis. The Roomate and I look at it other, shrug, and remark stoically, "oh well, no milk today!"

d) make tea. Lots and lots of tea. Gone are my merry days of take-out coffees. They are too expensive here and, as we live in Essex, you are more likely to get an eel pie or a kehab than a coffee. This is why most people can be found:

e) going to the pub. When you're sick of doing laundry, buying food, and walking in the rain, there's nowhere else to go. There's no place like Essex...

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Claustrophobia ,Jogging, and a Haircut

I've been struggling with what I should do with this blog because it was pointed out to me that this is a public space and it's occurred to me that anything I say on here could come back to haunt me. Also, the damn blog is not working properly.

Techie question for anyone out there:
1) When I used to want to insert a picture into this blog I would insert the image, the image would appear and I could drag it around my window. Now I'm just getting code when I'm making my post but then the picture is actually there when I post it. This basically means I can't do anything but put a picture at the top, however, as I can't really figure out what all this code means. This is a new development. I thought it was because I upgraded to Internet Explorer 7 but I'm now using Firefox and that's not working either. Argh! I'm not really impressed with blogger I've had a lot of problems with it.
2)Same problem if I try and put things in italics or bold. I get the code on screen but it doesn't actually but text into italics.

As for postings, like I said I'm a bit worried so I'm thinking of moving over to Live Journal because I can set it so that only people I allow to view the page can view it. The just want to relate my experiences without worrying about saying the wrong thing. I go through my whole life worrying about that.

So anyway, last week was really really hard. The students at my school are very very difficult to deal with. You tell yourself it's not you but it's frustrating and emotionally draining to have to fight them to do almost anything. On the other hand I've established a relationship with some of them and gotten them onside - at least somewhat. I've started to feel a strange sense of responsibility towards them because I know that if I left they'd be completely thrown because they'd have to deal with another adult coming in who they'd have to figure out. They'd have to go through the whole establishment process again.

So why am I staying there? I don't know . The staff are amazing really. The head teacher is incredible and, really, so is everyone else. I have a technician who's been there 10 years and is really guiding me through the work I'm supposed to be doing. She's saving my butt all over the place. Having said all that... I'm about to sign on for the rest of the year and I have to go in tomorrow and tell them I don't want to. I don't know if I want to stay there the whole year it's just too much for me to even think about at the moment. It's going to be a really tough conversation. Basically I don't want to lock into some situation and not be able to handle it down the road. I want to have the option to leave if I have to. I'll always have that option of course but at least this way I'm being honest.

So yeah last week was incredibly exhausting. I realized that I landed and started teaching immediately in an education system that I have NO familiarity with. I'd say 60-70% of my stress is that I'm very often quite unsure if I'm teaching the right thing or not. England has these standardized tests that kids have to pass and I don't want to let the kids down by teaching things that aren't on the test or not teach them how to write the test and have them fail because of it. There's also this "course work" stuff they have to send in to some government agency to get marked. The course work involves samples of their actual work. I don't even mark it someone else does. It's all very stressful because I don't know the system. At least in Canada I know how it works just from having gone through it.

So that brings me to the title of my posting.

The culture shock here is still a major issue for me. I feel very anxious when I'm out and about and I think a lot of it has to do with the tightly packed enclosed space that is London. I've mentioned that the streets are so twisted and convoluted that you can't see more than half a block at a time. It's also hilly and everywhere you go buildings are crammed together with little alleyways leading everywhere. In Canada alleyways are danger zones but here everything in an alleyway so I think I feel like I'm in dangerous areas when I'm not. The biggest problem I have is that I really feel like I'm always in a tiny condensed packed in space. I spoke to a British man today who had travelled in America for 6 months at one point in his life and he mentioned that he noticed that feeling when he came back. I know I'll get used to it but at the moment it's difficult.

Today I went and got a haircut at a place called Hair On Broadway which is a fairly high end sort of place. The guy who cut my hair was really cool actually and we had a great conversation. Then I went clothes shopping and almost bought a pair of pants (I'll get them on pay day!). I just wandered around looking for clothes and started to feel a lot better. Something about grooming myself and getting some nice clothes (almost anyway) made me feel better. Plus I got some exercise because it's a half hour walk into Loughton where all the stores are. I went to a Kebabery (Kebabs are big here) and had a massive chicken kebab. I started to relax for the first time in days.

I decided I need to get in better shape and that I need to exercise to deal with stress so I went jogging at 9:00pm and I actually jogged for 29 minutes straight. Don't ask me how. I think it's because I've done so little physical activity that my body is just not worn out at all...or something. I felt a lot better after having done this and I need to stick to the goal of eating better, exercising, and doing some things I like so I feel better.

So my goal is to do half an hour of exercise every day, quit drinking for the week, and eat right.

1 day down, 6 to go.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Another Week Ends With a Trip to the Isle of Wight


Well it's Sunday. The lovely Babagenouche and I just returned from the Isle of Wight where we had a great time with her family. The Isle of Wight is a lovely charming place just off the the south east coast of Britain. Babagenouche's grandmother lives there. You can take a look at where we were in the picture on the left!

We left Saturday morning from Debden which couldn't be farther away and still be considered even close to London and took the tube across town. Then we got on an hour and a half train ride which was actually quite nice. It sure beats the Tube. I have no end of complaints about the tube here but I won't bore you with that! We finally got to Portsmouth and took a 15 minute ferry ride across to the Isle of Wight. Babagenouche's Uncle Neil, Aunt Julia, and niece picked us up with her father (who is visiting Britain) and we went to Newport for a tour. We managed to find some pubs and sample so beers as well as poking around.

We finally went back to Babagenouche's grandmother's (Jean) house and had a fantastic time. Fantastic food, lots of laughs, just a plain old good time.

Today I went to my first English castle. That was fun.

I've upload pictures to my flickr site. Check 'em out!

As for me I'm settling into Britain a bit more. I go through phases now where I'm actually starting to like it. I realized that a lot of my irritation was caused by fear. I'm starting to get more comfortable with behaviour in public that would be considered very aggressive and inconsiderate in Canada but here is just boisterous, assertive, or just plain friendly. People talk to each other more here and I'm getting more comfortable with that. I've complained that no one talks to one another in Toronto and that everyone seems to walk around in their own zone of silence but even though I didn't like that I guess I was used to it. There's a lot more conversation here which I'm starting to like. I'm also twigging to the English sense of humour which is different than the Canadian. British folk really like to make fun of each other in a friendly way. I still get the "I hate this place" feeling but it's happening less. I also think this happens when I'm in some place that I'm totally unfamiliar with and it's really the feeling that I just can't get my bearings.

Anyway, meeting up with Babagenouche's family was great and I can't wait to get together with them again. They're a really fun bunch!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Feeling Better

Ok so I'm feeling much better. Thanks to those who posted comments on the 'ol blog on that one. Made me feel a bit better. I had a guy come in from a high school near by on Monday and show me the ropes of the curriculum a bit. That's relieved a lot of confusion and stress. The wife and the roomate have been great support and I have great family and friends who have been incredible. I even have friends in blogger land who are checking in on me and helping me out. Thanks all!

I feel pretty good because today we got to a point with the play we're working on that was very encouraging. It's been a constant battle through the whole process as students have been in and out and doing interactive work is very difficult for them. Today the Drama group, the art group, and the singing/dance group all showed what they'd developed so far and it went much very well. The students actually watched each others work respectfully and I think they were surprised at how things are going. It's getting down to the crunch and they're coming together. It's very exciting to see.

I'm starting Capoeira tonight. It's some sort of Brazilian martial art/dance type thing. I need excercise and an outlet for stress so it should help. Apparently it's African in origin but really big in Brazil.

Read all about it here.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capoeira

Monday, November 20, 2006

Culture Shock Part 809,973,498,430

Before reading ahead I'll state the following:

I know it'll get better. I might be at the worst point which is the turning point. I know it'll get better.


Ok I hate it here. Now before everyone gets alarmed and freaks out I know what I'm going through is Culture Shock. I know it'll pass. But right now I absolutely hate it here. Here's a little graph or two that I've found that illustrate the wave of Culture Shock that people feel when moving to another Country.

I'm definitely in the disintegration stage. The honeymoon phase was very very short in fact and it's been a steady downhill jaunt since then.

I've really hit the end of my tether. Brace yourself here comes a rant!



I can't understand what people are saying half the time, they can't understand me, I can't seem to get anything done properly. I'm at zero tolerance for screw ups. Buses that don't show up, entire lines on the tube that are shut down on the weekend, do I tip or not?, why is the hair salon sending me a text message to confirm and appointment I never made? Why are people yelling constantly?, why the hell are they swearing and screaming at each other constantly?, why are they talking to me?, What's with the profanity?, why did that pack of kids just throw a McDonald's wrapper at us? (seriously!), why the hell don't pubs serve food after 7 o'clock??, where do I go to buy a power cord for my computer?, how am I supposed to go to a bank to do anything when they're only open 10 - 4?, why are the young children causing a ruccus everywhere, how can you found your way around this city when steet maps look like spaghetti I mean no one can give directions without going into a 20 minute discussion about the 19 different ways you could get somewhere but you never actually get street names just land marks am I the only one uncomfortable with "turn at the roundabout, the you'll see a pub, it's after that can't miss it"?, where are the street signs?, the streets windiness means you can never see more than a half block ahead of you which is starting to make me feel claustrophobic, transportation is ridiculously expensive, the shops all shut down early, I'm stuck in the boonies and I'm in a seriously rough area of London I can't wait to get out of...

And that's just the beginning.

I went down to a place called Sloan Square the other day and walked around. It's a very wealthy shopping area and I started to feel better. I think it was partially because I saw something I recognized. There were stores I knew like The Gap, Swarovski, Guess and other stores that I at least recognized. Also people looked relaxed and like they were having a good time. This seems somewhat rare in my neighbourhood.

Anywyay I found some articles about Culture Shock that describe exactly what I'm going through. It's pretty typical.

I can't wait until I reread this 6 months from now and laugh and laugh and laugh at how crazy I was.

Flickr updated

I finally got to upload my pics to Flickr. There's about 50 of them. Click on the link on the left for pictures.