The Ritalin Diaries

As many people know I have ADD. I don't have ADD/HD which is the kind what most people refer to as just ADD. AD/HD is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder which has that hyperactivity factor that everyone knows about. I just have the Attention Deficit Part of it.

I have a fairly mild case, I believe. This makes it incredibly sneaky though. Organizing and planning is extremely difficult, my memory is terrible, thinking ahead is difficult (as in...I arrive at the video store and realize I don't have the videos, or I arrive at the train terminal and realize I don't have the train tickets.)

So anyway, thanks to my big Sis I got diagnosed by a Dr. Turgay in Toronto when I was back for the summer. He prescribed concerta which is, essentially, slow release Ritalin.

I wanted something like this because I went to a total quack in Toronto named Dr. Hoffer on St. Clair (if you go there run away!) and he gave me Dexedrine which caused wild mood swings and abilities to concentrate as it kicked in and wore off again throughout the day. So I started on Concerta. I started on a low dose and slowly moved up. It made a WORLD of difference.

I could suddenly organize and sequence my thoughts. I'd think: Ok pack my bag with the the books and stuff for the post office, I'll go to the post office on the way to school, get stamps and envelope there, get on the bus and head to school. It'll take about an hour. What needs to be done TODAY? When I get to school I'll plan out the English. I'll print anything I need to copy as I go. I'll go copy it and put it in that plastic folder I've so cleverly added to my folder. I'll make up the list of instructions for the whiteboard. Then I should have time for marking. Then it's teaching time.

Without Ritalin I can't sequence or prioritize. It goes more like this: I've got to plan that stuff for English. Gotta go. Wait - what about the post office. Where's my bag? Eat breakfast. I've got planning to do. Damn I've got to mail that thing. I'll never get to school on time. Oops I should throw those in the laundry. I've got to plan English or I'm in trouble. Oh the marking. Gotta plan English. I'll have to do photo copying to. Where are my shoes? Gotta plan English. Ok I'll go to the post office. Oh where's the letter? I'll have to make copies. Where's the letter. I've got to plan English. Got the letter. Go!

Guess when I feel calmer and more confident?

Anyway I came over here and I've been battling the system to get more Concerta (loooong story). I finally got a prescription but it's for just normal Ritalin for the moment.

Day 1 I felt good. I could feel the ups and downs happening but not as bad as on Dexedrine. At the end of the day though I felt compeletly exhausted - like I hadn't slept in days. Ritalin is a stimulant so when it wore off I think I was wiped. Didn't eat much though either as it kills your appetite.

Day 2 I was ok but I felt really stimulated and jittery. I also did a couple of ADDish things like buying something then leaving it at the store...and getting on the wrong train. I came home aggravated due to the whole train thing and again felt completely and utterly wiped. I was irritable and couldn't concentrate. Again though...I didn't eat that much.

Day 3 Started badly today. The Ritalin made me scattered and irritable when it was kicking in. I decided to take the 2nd one as I was feeling better by then. I think my body needs to adjust to the stuff as well. Felt fine - took the third one and still feel ok. I made sure I ate regularly today so that might be why I'm not so tired.

If anyone out there is on Ritalin...does this stuff sound familiar?

Anyway...I'm off to Canary Wharf for drinks!